life is not great right now

life is not so great fro me at the moment.. ive been very disturbed for the past few days.. but i dont want to tell what it's all about. im just disturbed and i cant seem to think very well.. i dont know what i really want. I think Im expecting much of myself. I just cant handle everything right now. I am not in a normal state of mind. I need to rest. I need a break. My "vacation" was stressful because of this disturbance and i cant seem to get away with it. I am feeling so sad and depressed. I am homesick in my own house. I just wish life was simpler and happier when I was still young. But as someone told me, wlanag madali sa buhay iha. It's unbearable. Loneliness drowns me so much that I dont feel the presence of the people around me. I am stuck in my own sad world. and what a way to greet the new year. i had two Fs. one in histo. One in Chem. I hope acctng long test will be ok.. LS ppr .. equivalent to F. burdens make me insane. im no superman ya know. im just so tired. ALl these expectations from me, as a sister, as a daughter, as a friend, as a student, as an orgmate.. CAN I PLEASE STOP TIME. I JUST WANT TO BE ME. I need time for myself. and i ahet myself too for forgettign about ACMG's first friday mass sponsorship. I have failed my org. Nakakahiya dahil i carried Kaingin's name, and i all forgot about it. I only remembered it after my nap. SOBRA NAKO PAGOD! IVE BEEN THINKING ALL THESE STUFF EVEN BEFORE CLASSES STARTED! and i failed... I cant believe I forgot it.. nwala tlga sa icp ko sheeshh.. and i haet myself for being irresponsible.. if i would say a bad word right now, I want to say fuck myself! I hate myself. Anu-ano pa kasi iniisip mo. Maging robot ka nlng. Forget it. Mas mapapahamak ka alng sa ginagawa mo.