Reviving my blog

It’s been years since I last wrote in full content in this blog. I actually don’t know what to write since I don’t have a particular field that I specialize in. I just want to express even when no one reads this. This is a safe medium since blogspot has long been idle. I’ll probably try writing but first, I must read to feed my knowledge.

I’ve been reading Mitch Albom’s For One More Day. It’s a story about a guy who practically had his life ruined and finds comfort or renewed spirit in his dead mother’s love. I actually am not finished with the book yet. But as I was reading through the pages, I can actually feel the frustration of the narrator. I don’t know why. Maybe because I just came from a personal problem. I felt like I got so detached from the world too for 5 and a half years. When the narrator details the times her mom stood up for her but he didn’t, I felt like I was the mother. After 5 and a half years, I felt like after fighting so hard, someone didn’t stand up for me. But that’s how it goes. You understand. You become patient. You forgive and you let go.

For one, I have this tendency to really stand up for people if I know they’re oppressed in any way. I stand up for my loved ones and my friends even at my expense at times. I remember in college, standing up for a friend in front of our teacher. My friend thanked me for that. Going against everyone is hard but I just can’t contain seeing people bullied or abused. In my own experience, I stood up for someone not because he is bullied I guess, but because I just loved. When you love someone, you’d do anything for hijm/her. When you love someone, you forget yourself just so the other can be happy. I think it is both a curse and a gift. Im so selfless and Im not saying this to praise myself. Sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I thank God He made me this way.

When I evaluate myself what my talents are, I usually can’t align them with the usual “talents” people have like singing, dancing or drawing. What I really think is that my talent or my gift is the huge heart God gave me. I can’t describe it though or define it in a word or phrase. But sometimes when I talk to God, I just burst into tears of joy, thanking Him how beautifully broken I was yet I had the heart to heal, be healed and accept. I never blamed God for whatever bad thing that happened to me. I just trust God that He knows best. Perfect timing. Perfect everything.

I entrust everything to God now. It’s been an early shock for 2012 but I’m getting better every day. As much as I want to try new experiences, I’m still very cautious. I’m having my early signs of coping but with disappointments still. But I ain’t giving up. I have to win over myself. Lord, let my scars turn into stars. Whatever I do, I lift everything up to You. Grant me a clear vision and an undivided heart. Let I find the right path and man for me.

Don’t worry friends, I am A-OK. J I just wanted to write but I didn’t have any topic in mind haha. This isnt meant to bash anyone. Hopefully my next entries will have more sense or of useful information.

Goodah and beyond

When asked what I wanted to be when I grow up, there were only limited choices. My usual friends would pick being a doctor, teacher, or businessman. My choice was to be a businesswoman. For some reason, I think it was the only thing I was exposed to since my family never had teachers or doctors. We were all in business.

After college, after taking up management of applied chemistry, I joined the workforce and when the opportunity of handling Goodah came up, I volunteered. I thought it was the right path or at least the right step to know the works of business. True enough, I really did learn a lot but more of the operational side. If you ask me how to start up a business, I still wouldn’t know, particularly because of the processes of filing permits and stuff. The legalities are just so complex. I still thought that I made the right choice. I am made for business.

However, after a year of handling it, I felt the nagging feeling of wanting to do more. People would always say, “wow, you have your business na. It’s great you can work at your own time.” It is both a privilege and a boredom. For one, I can work anytime I want. On the other hand, I don’t feel like I’m really working or I’m contributing or growing. All I did was check on the store and made sure operations went smoothly. Maybe I went into business at a very early age. I still had yearnings to use my intellect, be challenged with colleagues who are competitive. At some point, I felt rusty and dumb. So this is what business feels like.

Now that we’re coming into a close, I must admit I still would miss Goodah. It has been my one year playground, getting scratched, wounded and even burned. It was a disaster at times yet I enjoyed no matter how much I complained how tired I get after a day’s work. Right now, Im just looking for stress that didn’t involve emotional or physical stress. I’d rather be stressed for reasons that will improve my intellect rather than just doing manual labor. It’s still an experience though. This I can share to my kids and grandchildren that I was once a princess doing all the dirty job. I was president yet I submerge my arms in garbage.

Whatever I learned from Goodah, the best part is that I was able to learn how to be boss. Right now, I think I am more in control. I am more assertive. I am also more disciplined and I walk the talk. I valued the small tasks that contributed to the brand. The hundreds of times I swept the floor, cleaned the dishes and threw garbage, it taught me how to be humble, be a good example, and that you can’t be entrusted with larger responsibilities if you can’t even clean up your own little mess. True enough, maybe Goodah wasn’t really for me to know how to set up my own business, but it really taught me more. It has been one emotional and physical roller coaster for me since I entered Goodah and now I’m ready to conquer a different setting.

Beyond Goodah lies all the possibilities of becoming who I really want to become. I’ve learned things the hard way. God never gave it to me easy but he did listen to my prayers. In my heart, Goodah will still be the best restaurant for me. No other restaurant can ever replace it in my heart. As I know myself, I am always loyal to the places I work for, be it in MTC and Avida. I’ll probably still patronize Goodah in other branches. Goodah tapsilog is still my favorite and will always be. Thank you for all the people who have been part of my Goodah 2011 experience. ♥

I miss everything...

I think I lost my life.

Dear blog,

Ayoko na lang magsalita. pipi na nga ako dati eh, ngayon wala pang bibig.

Love,
_____


Bakit ganoon, extremes are really hard to handle. minsan kasi ang hirap din ireach ang moderation. sometimes you try to be at one end and you do it because it is the right thing but is not effective so you're tempted to go to the other extreme right away to see results.

world, shut up and listen to me. I cant forever be an all out supporter. sometimes you have to shake it to protect yourself. I dont need cecon. I need power. I thirst and crave for power.

If I can't get it, it may seem impossible but i have limits too. It just takes one big bang to turn a sheep into a wolf.

i aint Ms Goody all the time. Fear what i can do.

But dont get me wrong, I am very very patient, still. Be very very careful not to abuse it.

August 30, 2007

mood for today:
sana hindi ko na lang ginawa. sayang pagod. kaasar. naginitiate pero nabalewala pero no one's fault i guess. kainis pa rn. nasayang oras ko. must have spent the time for myself.

update:
parang antagal ko nawala. somehow nung nagbatangas ako akala ko tuloy sembreak na. pero nung pasok ulit rarr.. hell week. next weeks din. andami ko gusto sabihin ngayon.

sana maging ok na LS126 namin with regards dun sa product namin. i hope it would sell in the future. Bili kayo ng product namin ha. abangan ninyo ahaha.

i feel distant.

my isang homosapien na masasabi ko ay parehas sa babaeng aso. haha kilala ito ng isang pagong. no wonder may mga modern day sabrinas.

nakikinig ako ngaun ng mellow music. namimiss ko na mga carefree mornings like this kahit may exam ako. nagbasa rn ako ng witch kanina. ang saya ng ganito. time for myself which i always look for when I'm at home. I want to pamper myself.

kagabi sobrang pagod ako ndi ko alam bakit. cguro PMS na nga tlga. nagkakacramps na rn ako as preview. sa sobrang pagod ko after ko maglog out ng mga 8 pm nakatulog nako til 11 30. saka pa lang ako nagdinner! exag. kung kelan tulog na lahat. saka pa lang dn ak mag-aaral.

kinain ko ang 4 na expired na spongecake. go tummy!

gumagaling na naman sugat ko sa paa haha. mahirap lang maligo. maga pa rin braso pero onti lang. ang saya ng trip sa medical city haha.

can i just repeat.. ang saya tlga ng mga umagang ganito. ang saya ng mga umaga :) kasi usally ang gabi natin mas stressd. mas puyat pas may gngwa. pag umaga mas wla unless ma 730 class ka.

mga isda ko andami na namamtay. wla na c charlie. his moustache will forever be remembered. nahigop rin ung black molly. anu ba yan at ung isa na higop katawan at isa nawalan ng mata.

may pinaapoy kaming tao.HAHAHA

sana palaging ganito kasaya mga umaga ko :) ang saya ng pahinga :) the best forever in the middle of a stressed world.

nalulungkot ako for a friend. sana ok na sya.

depressed kahapon. as usual....

1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5.. (5 beses ako nagbilang) at magbibilang pa.. ng maraming tinapay na nakakalason! ala snow white pero namatay sa tasty bread

i want beard papa. (sa nagbabasa nito. ang ganda nitong line noh?) hahha. BANG!