specially for you

im really paranoid. and a bit scared.

i was really hearing voices a while ago in my head. i wonder if im just making them up or there really is a voice. sheesshh. and i hear sounds in silence. i cant describe how silence sounds. but it's similar to a horror film.

i hope im not mentally ill. but it wont hurt if i am.

sidenote:
a while ago, i saw this special Chinese guy. He's mentally ill. He's cute and he's retarded. but it's such a pleasure to just experience watching him. He flips his arms round and round and he's lookign everywhere but he keeps on smiling. Maybe that's why i have a special thing for the special. They are always happy even if they have defects. They can easily be entertained by just a clap or duling eyes.

i like watching special people. SOmetimes, i want to be with them mainly because i am a retard myself. Maybe i can ride with their way of thinking. And it's fun to be insane. atleast they're special.

Im excited to mingle with them soon. I ownder when. I want to imagine with them. play with them and be one of them for a while. It's fun to be in their world.