my plenary paper. sumthgn to think about

When Fr Dan first showed us the time travel video during the plenary, I was sort of hypnotized. I don’t know if hypnotized is the right word but I felt like I was so disillusioned about the world I’m living in right now. I can just say “whoaaaa… I never imagined that there was something that great OUT there!!!” Seriously, it shocks me.

Actually, I don’t know how to react. I just felt lost and empty at the moment. Plenaries have a tendency to make me feel depressed because it shows me how bad or disorganized the world is. I feel alone in this vast world, not even knowing how I came to be me. I am so sad to see how this world slowly crumbles. I love this world that sheltered me my whole life. When I see the other galaxies moving away from our world, although it is just an illusion that makes us look like in the center, I feel like, the world is such a lonely place if you place it among the other galaxies. I feel so small. It depresses me. I may be here living comfortably in front of my computer but in truth, there is still a vast space out there, not knowing what may happen in the long run. Galaxies are separating and other stars are exploding. Others are even being extinguished and all I can imagine is a total destruction of the whole universe.

I may just be pessimistic but I’m really sad that what if that may happen? I don’t want to experience it. It’s not just about the fear of death too. It’s about my care for this universe. I don’t want something to be ruined especially the ones that are close to my heart. Yes, this universe is close to my heart. I love this universe because all throughout my life, it has sustained me. And all I can do is thank God for all of this. Just imagine all the wonders out there. I can never stop praising God for His creation. It’s just too wonderful that it makes me cry out of joy. Seriously.

Why do we keep on searching for what happened before? Well, my guess is that so that we can sort of predict the future. Unless we know where we are heading to, we will always be restless, feeling anxious all the time. It is because when we know how everything began, we can pattern it with something and therefore, understand better the universe and all its laws. We can better prepare our future too. Personally, I just want to know because I’m scared of what might happen. When we are not exposed to the truth, we will all be restless.

But actually, although fear dominates me, I believe that we can never understand everything for the human brain also has its limits. Maybe the answer is beyond our comprehension and all that we can do is trust in God. At this point, I just want to cherish everything and make this world a better place. I know it sounds cliché but that’s my philosophy in life. You’ll never know what may come your way. I just want to make the most out of this lifetime. Whatever happened before, I just want to let it be lest I miss out the good things in life. But for whatever reason why all of these came about, I’ll forever be grateful that because of them, I have come to this world. And this world I’m experiencing right now? It’s just wonderful. Super. :D


Our hearts will forever be restless unless we rest in Thee.