The Joy of free will and life itself

When I knew about Jesus personally, I feel ecstatic everyday having His presence with me every time. Although I falter still, feeling some loneliness inside, I just rely and depend on Jesus to take it all away and be reminded of how precious I am to Him.  I am thankful of all the things that I am reminded of Jesus and how much I am loved.

Sometimes though when you feel like you’re falling off from that high feeling, I feel like sometimes I don’t want to be on my own anymore. Like you feel if you do things yourself, you might f*ck things up again and make mistakes. I mean, I just want to follow Him and do whatever He says. Then at times although I don’t hear a prompting of the Spirit, only then did I realize the value of my free will. It doesn’t mean I don’t have God with me but he gave me the gift of free will to do what I want to do in my life. Part of his gift is also giving us common sense. Just like yesterday, although I feel sometimes I want to be 100 percent of the time doing “Christian” stuff, I am reminded that God gave me the free will to choose what I want to do. So yesterday, I just went window shopping and I know that even just by being myself, God delights in me. He enjoys seeing me enjoying life as it is. It’s a matter of doing everything with the mind of doing it for Him as a way of worship. Then, our everyday lives become more peaceful, joyful and actually has more meaning. As much as God can control everything, I am thankful that He gave me the gift of free will and at the same time, He is still there to be the Lamp upon our feet to guide us every step of the way. We are still accountable to what we do with our lives but we have a great God to help us through. It helps to be reminded that although we are in this world, we are not of this world. Ultimately, God wants a relationship with us whereby we freely choose Him and that the very life we have is given to us by grace for us to enjoy it.