A working traveller

Which country am I in again? Sometimes I encounter this dumb question presented to myself by myself and for myself.

I’ve been working for 2 months in Singapore already and even though at times I can feel like I’m very used to it, it never fails that I experience something new to remind me that I’m still somehow a tourist in this place. This keeps me interested in my work because even if my work is just admin, I feel like my work is just a way for me to provide for my needs but I’m still a traveller who is in a foreign land.

In this note, I would like to admit to myself that I am not in Singapore to work although I am working in Singapore. It’s not a front either to escape something. I am actually seeking my vocation in life so while I’m in this long soul searching , (at sosyal dahil abroad ko pa gagawin), I need a job so I can pay for bills and cover expenses but honestly, my work is a requirement. It is not my mission anymore. My goal in Singapore is to find myself, be clear of what I want to be, far away from everything, far away from distractions so I can think.

Singapore is my chance to learn a lot. As much as people get bored in their jobs even abroad, I somehow get to search for things that interest me in my day to day activities, which is learning Mandarin. So whenever I feel bored, I just remind myself of the several things I am yet to learn and then it excites me. I don’t intend to be the best admin or the best employee but those would be great but just bonuses. But if I get to master my native tongue which I was supposed to practice when I was young, then I feel like I’ve accomplished a life goal.

Another aspect is also to be exposed to different cultures. Now I have friends (although a few) who are Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Chinese, Singaporean and Indian. This is also an accomplished life goal.

Being independent is a given. Life goal accomplished as well.

Inflencing others? On my way through public speaking. I didn’t intend to influence people in Singapore. It’s just that it happened to be that I am here.

Today I just came home from our company dinner. It helped us get out from our usual office atmosphere and it reminded me of how much more I am yet to discover—about my colleagues, fellowship, and places in Singapore. We went to this place I never knew about and I felt like I'm a tourist once again. And I realize, “hey, I am a tourist that has a job”. Getting a work pass doesn’t mean I am a mere worker. I am still a foreigner who is bound to have new experiences and our jobs are just our medium to get by, right? J I don’t intend to go to the tourist spots though (and I haven’t been to Sentosa) but I want to be a visitor among the locals. That way, it keeps me alive every single day. Again, I am a visitor who has a job in Singapore. I am not a worker in Singapore. Those are two different things.

To be honest, somehow I feel like I’m born here already, not because I’m so used to Singapore but because I just have the tendency to forget my past and have this “just born yesterday” feeling. Somehow I forget I am not in a particular foreign land. I don’t think I am in Singapore. I don’t think I’m in a specific place. I just know that I am in a place where I’m familiar whether it is in “Singapore” or “Philippines”. I am not in a specific country. I am here at the present, where my feet stand, where my lungs breathe and where my dreams start being realized. I feel at home in the sense that I am at the present and I am in control. The Philippines of course is a different kind of home because your loved ones are there.  Here and now, I define it home because I am actively present here. Sometimes we can be in a place but we are not present, mentally and spiritually. I am here and I am home and it just happens to be Singapore.

I thank God for giving me all these opportunities and never failing to give me with so much more. I’ve been so blessed in many ways imaginable and I feel so loved by people who surround me. I’m always guarded wherever I go, keeping me safe, providing for my needs. I know that there is so much more to learn, so much more to practice and so much more to do. It’s always a long stretch ahead but a least I’ve started with my first steps.

Hey, I’m turning 26 and yes I’m old. But I just keep moving forward, strolling joyfully with Lord. I’ve never been so happier, peaceful and overflowing with joy.